Life Quotes & Quotations

FORMING SACRED PARTNERSHIPS

During a recent conversation with a friend she described the disheartening events around the funeral service of a close friend.  The 33-year-old male died suddenly of anaphylactic shock after an allergic reaction to peanuts.  The older brother was a man of the cloth and presided over the funeral.    She told me how dismayed family and friends were to hear    a lengthy judgmental discourse about everything that his brother had done that did not measure up to the religious leader’s beliefs.  After giving his   brother a ceremonial send off that was over an hour and a half long he ended it by saying he did it because naming his sins  was the only way he could save his brother from a life of eternal damnation.  All the other loved ones were understandably distraught after the service.  Evidently the deceased was a good father, son, friend and an excellent intensive care nurse who was loved and respected by peers and patients alike.   The main thrust of his brother’s wrath was that he had married a divorcee and was recently separated from her.  All his other attributes were unworthy of comment because he had failed to meet the exacting standards of an intransigent  and unyielding belief system.

After hanging up the phone I sat for a while and contemplated the negative impact of   

self-righteous attitudes and behaviors.  The effects are played out in small and large ways and there are many who take great glory and making others wrong so they can feel right.    How contrary it is to what all the great religions teach about non-judgment and unconditional love.   This continual clashing of ideologies was very different than how I was raised.  My mom imprinted the importance of accepting differences from an early age. 

While growing up my family of origin attended an Anglican Church.  I sang in the choir, attended Sunday school and enjoyed the stories and music.  Then we moved into a predominately Catholic community.  With that move to a different part of the city we   began to attend a United church.   The contrast between varying faiths crated unique opportunities to explore different approaches to Christianity.  It was during this period that I began to notice strong elements of fear and judgment contained within some religious frameworks.  While attending a variety of churches I began to see how leaders from the pulpit shaped the congregation’s belief system.  As I grew in awareness it was rather disturbing to observe   how anyone not   following specific dogma was viewed as misguided.   The threat of limbo and became so real to many within the church that they blindly adapted to some rather illogical hypothesis’ without ever questioning the legitimacy of it. 

Whenever it was pointed out it how contrary a lack of acceptance was to Jesus’ ministry of love, healing, forgiveness and the Golden Rule it was arbitrarily dismissed.  The discussion about my friend’s experience at the funeral reminded me how grateful I felt for having a role model with mom’s   spirituality.    Whenever I came home with questions about people’s race, color, size, gender or religious differences she always reminded me that our Creator was the only one who knew for sure who was right and who was wrong.   She did not believe it was not our place to judge each other because we lacked the wisdom to be truly objective.   Mom also said that on the inside we all have similar needs—to be loved, understood and respected.     She taught me that on the outside we might look different—but we all bleed the same color.   Her lack of judgment did not win favor with many in the church, but it was a gift that started me on a path that continues to this day.  When she passed away her memorial was a true testimony to her way of unconditionally loving.  The room was filled with people who shared stories about how her positive, caring approach touched their lives and the world a better place because she was in it.  The pastor said in his part of the service that my mother had the kind of spirituality that was bigger than any doctrine.  He said how he was often humbled by her capacity to love beyond the outer appearance of things. 

Admittedly there are times when events in life and people’s actions and reactions to things give reason to pause and question their motives—or mine for what is said and done.   With the move came new opportunities to explore other views of Christianity. 

 can get over ourselves an make more loving choices towards others something the opportunity to form sacred partnerships begins and within this framework of sacred there is an absence of polarized thinking, power struggles superiority, dictatorial behavior, or condemnation.  There is an innate sense of acceptance and a willingness to honor  the rights of others to choose their path whether we agree with it or not.  There is also a deeper understanding and acceptance about our  right of free choice—a basic human right that is so frequently denied.  

All too often both children and adults are given the message that who they are and what they think and feel is unacceptable.  Whenever this happens the authentic self is sacrificed.  So many of the problems we face as a global community begin with an invalidation of the essential self. Admittedly, this way of thinking did not happen overnight.  Changing one’s viewpoint from an ego-based awareness to one of honor is a constant struggle.  The human tendency for a need to be right is a difficult trait to master.  The subtle pull of lower-self frequencies continually manifests through jealousy, insecurity, smugness, fear, intimidation, control and judgment.  To keep oneself on a higher frequency of acceptance, understanding, tolerance, forgiveness and yes, -- love is not an easy or familiar pathway to pursue.  However, both David and I know from our own journey that the rewards for our efforts come in the most unexpected and magical ways.

Each time we are able to transform a word, a thought or an action from an unloving way to a loving way there is an instant inner gratification.  It is a feeling that  transcends the ordinary way of looking at things and you “know with your know” that  you are on the right path.  There is clarity of thought and a synergistic interaction that comes with the ability to be genuine and open.  The unconditional acceptance for who we  are and the choices we are making puts life on a different plane.  When we begin to view others and ourselves as a works in progress with lessons to learn and the right to learn them in whatever time frame it takes there is little room for judgment. 

This belief system has expanded our awareness and allowed us to create a sacred partnership first with ourselves and secondly with each other.  It continually creates a ripple effect in our interactions with others.  People sense when they are unconditionally accepted and it opens the door for greater genuineness, openness and trust.   The life lessons we are learning within the framework of sacred partnerships continually reveal there are no failures—only lessons we need to learn.

How can we accurately judge another as being wrong when they may be in the midst of learning a valuable life lesson?  How can we possibly know what they need to experience to grow in awareness?   How can any of us know what we are capable of  without “errors in judgment?”    Sacred partnerships say—live and let learn and judge not lest you be judged.  They share ideas and beliefs and show respect for differences whether we agree or not in because there is a ripple effect within our interconnectedness and our strength lies in unity, cooperation and consensus.